To hell with this world

NO, do not read this!
Why are you then still reading?
Förlåt, jag drar det här på svenska. Sluta läsa.

Tydligen har jag ingen som förstår mig helt, eller ens lite. Min familj tycker helt klart att jag är en idiot för att jag har en tävling om allting. Är det så svårt att acceptera att jag är sån? Jag kan inte göra nåt åt det. Världen formar mig, precis som vatten och vind formar berg. Vad kan jag göra? Jag kan inte ändra mig på två sekunder. Inte på några dagar eller till och med veckor. Tyck då att jag är en idiot för den jag är.. Men kom inte och påstå nåt annat då. Men förstår verkligen ingen att jag inte alltid vill vara sämst på allt? Inte ens inom min familj är jag bäst på nåt. JAG VET JAG VET. Det är ingen tävling, man ska inte mäta sig med äldre, eller med någon alls, bara med sig själv blablabla. Jag vet inte varför jag tycker såhär, men jag tycker nu bara det. Tycker verkligen INGEN att det är jobbigt att vara sämst på allting man gör, fast man gör sitt bästa. Förstår ni inte?
Nej. Ingen förstår. Pappa försökte. Han blev arg och störd på mig. Förstår inte en av personerna som har varit med mig i hela mitt liv förstår ingen annan. Varför?
Temple of the evil, temple of the weak, no one knows how bad she feels.
No, I'm not a stranger among the people in here, yet I have never felt so alone.
Never opened myself this way.
Don't try to understand, since you clearly hate me.

Förlåt om jag har sårat nån, men ni skulle inte läsa det här.

//Leithinan

This week

This week's program look like this:
today: Dance
tomorrow: Psychology-questioning.
friday: To HÖSTDAGARNA in Tampere, Finland!!! <3 It's a christian meeting with people from all over the Swedishspeaking part of Finland. You might think this sounds boring, but it really isn't! Everyone's really nice and has a wonderful time there. And this year I'm going to a metal-workshop, which, I'm sure, is going to be really a lot of fun! Hopefully.. I always ruin something in the end.

//Leithinan

Rain

I stood about an hour and a half in the rain. I didn't want to go to my soccertraining, and I didn't want to go in, I was angry at my dad.
You think I'm weird or an idiot because I did this, too bad, 'cause I am. I don't know why I did it, why I didn't just go in or somewhere else. I just didn't.
I asked and answered a lot of questions while standing there, and understood a whole lot of things. I'm sorry, I won't share anything. But I can say that I sung about 6 songs while standing there. Just because I wanted time to move faster. And I got something.. I understood.

"A five year old, winterheart."

//Leithinan

Cat :3 and more singing!!

Now when Anette had a cat-thing going on, I just have to talk about them, too :3
Anyway.. uh.
Yeah, I'd REAAAALLY like a cat.. they're really cute and playful and aw :)
But my dad is allergic to all sorts of fur, so farewell cute kittehs :< I always say I'm going to buy one when I move away from home, but I don't know whether I'll have too little time to take care of it and so on, so forth.. And I don't know if Aleksi wants one :<
Murh. It'll end worse than I thought... >.< The cat-thing I mean :o

BUT! Today I had (again) singing lesson, and it went AWESOME! :D She actually said I sang Sleeping Sun "Wow!!"-ly :D But I just did it once, then I lost it again :( But she said once I've found it once it'll be easier to find it next time! :) So yay ^^ Next time I'll sing (if I find) A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton. :) I know it's "pop", but at least this is one of the songs you can actually listen to! Seriously. And this one actually has drums and guitar and everything, thank God..
So let's see if I'll find the chords to that one..

//Leithinan

Trees are dropping their leaves.

You really notice how it's autumn now, the trees are all yellow (though some still red or orange) now. It's getting cold and everything.
Yesterday we had bandpractise, where we decided on a name and which song we should play, since we AGAIN changed it.. Oh well. It's better this way, I think.
Anyway, we decided to play The Kinslayer by Nightwish (okay, haha, I'm going to sing it O.o'). I really didn't have anything to say about it.. I Like Kinslayer, I mean it's not one of my favourite's, and I mightn't have chosen it, but otherwise, fine. I liked Unchain the Rain by Altaria, too, but it has a male leadsinger, so it probably wouldn't sound so good if I sung that.. *sigh*
But I'm going to look for the.. uh.. notes for it, and probably some others.
//Leithinan

Black Silk + Dance

I just saw the trailer, or something, for Black Silk, and WOW! They danced so wonderfully! It was so beautiful to watch! I wish I could dance like that! But I have, unfortunately, only danced four years, so I'm not quite there yet :P AND I've had the chance to dance to Nightwish' music! :D Dark Chest of Wonders spring 2008! Alongside with the "?"-dance :D Last year we danced (or actually this, but last spring, then) to Jenni Vartiainen and some Hip-Hop, I think we just called it "hoppi" :P
The year before that it was Tomb Raider-music ^^' And before that Jennifer Lopez' "Play". And this year it's "Krazy" by someone (I don't know :P) and "Maniac" by Michael Sembello from Flashdance!! :D
I know, these doesn't sound like so great when you just listen to them, but when Nikke (danceteacher, she's awesome! And crazy! :D) make a dance to them it's wonderful! You just float along with it, and start loving some of them (if you haven't already loved them :P)!

//Leithinan

Home

I'm home from Turku, and that seemed to have taken all my energy. I don't want to do anything, not even the things I LIKE to do.. It has probably something to do with that I woke up about 10 times during the night. Uh, wohoo!
I installed Paint Shop Pro on the Vista, and it seemed to work, so nice. yay.
I want to play TheSims2. :( But we haven't installed it since the Vista came back, and I don't know where my sister keeps the savingfiles we'll add after we install it.. Sadly enough all our "new" families died with the Vista. :<

//Leithinan

Good morning, good morning

to you, and you, AND you (Donkey from Shrek :P).
Freedom! No school today, it's "autumnbreak"! (Höstlov) It's so nice, nothing to worry about, since we don't have any homework, of course, and no reading to tests! It feels better than ever before! :D
This weekend will look like:
Today: To Aleksi.
Friday: To Turku/Åbo, we'll go there with my whole family.
Saturday: Still Turku, but on my way back
Sunday: Nothing.. :S

Anyway, I promised I'll add a photo of the autograph :3





























//Leithinan :)

Anette Olzon's autograph....

I just got it in the mail by Nessi, tack så OTROLIGT MYCKET!
You will get a picture tomorrow, it's too late now.. :)
Thanks to Anette also, who had the energy.. :]

The testweek went well, so far, nothing too bad.
Allright, ten is the best grade, 4 is the worst, so you can pretty much think out how this works.
One 10, one 8+, one 7 and one 10,5 points out of 15 (yes, you can figure this one out, but she said she didn't say how much percent you had to have if you want to pass the test.. :)
So, so far pretty good, let's see how the Finnish and English went.. On Monday, see you then. *cool music playing*

I don't know, don't ask :D

//Leithinan

Mah :o

Now I feel really active on my blog.. At first it felt just weird writing everything here, but now I like it :) Inspiration is great! :D
I am, again, sitting in the computer classroom, since I have a free hour, because I haven't got a subject in position 3. So now I have a nice slow hour in the computer class.
Mah. I actually like these computers better than the laptop at home, these are much faster ;D And our Vista is pretty weird sometimes. Like the internet doesn't always work and so on, so forth.
So always when I have a free hour I go here.. If it's free.. Of course O.o

//Leithinan

confused :S

So lost so lost so lost in dreams
I feel the rhythm fall over me
Endless days in the warriors light
Dead in a fantasy's fire

Light a fire, burn it down
a burning feeling, oh, light of mine
My love, it feels like autumn forever
and ever, and may winter come soon.

So lost so lost so lost in dreams
I feel the rhythm fall over me
Endless days in the warriors light
Dead in a fantasy's fire

A lost life in a galaxys arms
fallen poetry, never at hand
A nightmare, a dream
fate means hate and the other way around.

So lost so lost so lost in dreams
I feel the rhythm fall over me
Endless days in the warriors light
Dead in a fantasy's fire

I-----.....
Forgot how to walk
forgot how to talk
How can life be so cruel? (how can life be so cruel?)

Forgot my name
forgot the same
How can life be so cruel
It's how the world works you fool!!


Sorry, I suddenly got a flash of inspiration. :o it feels awesome..
Haha, I'm going to hate this tomorrow! :D

//Leithinan

Look!

I don't know about the title, I just didn't want to put "Hm." again, it's pretty boring :<
When I read Anette Olzon's blog I somehow felt so mean and boring :/ Nothing exciting in my life at all, and it feels kind of sad..
Okay, I have my band, which isn't my band, but Aleksi's and Fille's, but I'm in it anyway.. And I should think of some music to write, but nothing comes up in my mind but boring or already-invented stuff :( It feels pretty much like hell. Sorry.

But the football/soccer training went well, I got exhausted, since I hven't played in like a week and a half, but I liked it.. It was much better than we have had in about half a year. Okay, we had Sampo, who isn't our coach, but he's sometimes our "extra-coach" when none of our other coaches can come.. He's funny, I can't understand why he's a coach, he should be a stand-up comedian!! :D

//Leithinan ^^'

Training

Today I have, after about 3-4 weeks of nothing but matches (haha, you know what I mean :P).. And last week we didn't even have that. It's really dark outside now, so it's not that fun to train (again...).. AND it's cold. About 1-3C.. :S I know, it gets colder, but this came so suddenly.. At first it was only in the evenings, but now it's all day long. ><
Murh. I'm tired.
//Leithinan.

Hm.

The singinglesson went great, I'm getting better all the time.. Or something. Now I'm going to sing My Immortal by Evanescence and Sleeping Sun by Nightwish :) At first I asked if I could sing Ever Dream by Nightwish, but it was a little bit too hard for me.
She said I'm going forward, and that not many people get as far as I go at this point, when I have had only 3 singing lessons. ^^ Okay now I stop the bragging.. :P

I have Englishtest tomorrow, hopfully I'll write better than THIS.. Haha. Uh. Ha. >.< style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">have :'< But she said I have a really good language and everything, so it's not so bad :)

Gee, how short are my blog posts really? O.o

//Leithinan

!!!!

Good people it is SNOWING in eastern Helsinki right now, today, can you believe it!? :D
Unfortunately it's just sleet (snöslask/räntäsadetta) :<>.<
Snow means christmas and winter and they on the other hand mean, unfortunately, my birthday.
I know, technically I should like my birthday, but when you're turning 17 it's not much to hurray for.. :/ I don't hate my birthday, I just don't like the thought of me growing up. It's nice to get to go to concerts and so on, but I still want to be a child.. I want to play with my toys. :<
Yes, I do sound childish when I put it that way. It's just that I hate taking responsibility.. It's hard.

Ice Queen (Live) - Within Temptation (Black Symphony)

//Leithinan

Hallou!

I'm in school right now, I just had my Finnish-test. It didn't go THAt well, but I SHOULD get through the course anyway..
My drug today, again, is The Heart Asks Pleasure First. It's awesome ^^
I'd REALLY like to see the Black Silk-musical or dance or what it was, I'm not really sure.. But all the people (two XD) who have seen it have said it was amazing, so I'd REALLY like to go to Malmö. One slight problem.. It's frigging 400km from here! (Or more? or less? I don't know :S)
Today I have singing lesson! :D I love it, but it's really hard sometimes. Uh. All the two times I've had it :) I wanted to sing Th Swan Song by Within Temptation, since I already have Eva-Nightwish.. And Sonata Arctica's songs are a little bit too low for me :< Pöh.
Anyway, I don't have any good pictures here, so I just leave it for now.

//Leithinan

Hurray!

Nu skriver vi på svenska till ära av mina första kommentarer XD
Tacktack, ni är så söta ^^ Eller alltså :P

Sorry to all who doesn't understand Swedish and who are(n't) reading my blog :P

Okay. So I was to a meeting with my football/soccer team+the-one-year-younger team talking about the future for our teams.. I don't want anything to change.. I like us the way we are, except that we could get some of the people who used to play back.. Then we would be like a team again, now we have like 14-15 people in the team, and we need 11 of them on the field every game. We almost don't get enough people to every game. ._. Schnuft.

Hm
//Leithinan

The Heart asks pleasure first

I fell in love... with a song. I've many times loved a song, but this is way more. It's so beautiful, and (if the lyrics we're about right) it has wonderful lyrics. So beautiful, perfect for the music. I really wish Nightwish would've released it. It makes us fans (at least me) heartbroken not to hear it.. Except on the concert. When I realized it was The Heart Asks Pleasure First I was shocked at first, but then I just started to love it at once. Yes, I know "Why haven't you posted this earlier, then?". I didn't realize just HOW awesome it was on the concert. But now. It's something you could listen to when you die. It's peaceful. And if we only could hear a proper version of it with Anette Olzon's voice and Tuomas Holopainen's lyrics.
(Yes, I DO know Tuomas hasn't written the music)
They are awesome, so wonderful with beautiful voices in different ways. Anette's voice when she's singing and Tuomas' voice through his lyrics and music. It must be the most wonderful combination. Together with Emppu Vuorinen, Marco Hietala and Jukka Nevalainen they are together unbeatable.

The Heart Asks Pleasure First makes me nostalgic... and sad, somehow.

Thank you. With all my heart, thank you!

//Leithinan

Raining...

It has rained all day, which goes hand in hand with my mood. You know.. To read to a extremely boring test is not as funny as you think. At some points I really want to get away from everything and just leave. Okay that probably sounded really stupid, really cliché and everything, but sometimes I don't want to go through with Gymnasium.. I'd just like to get it over with and do.. something else. I don't want to study for tests anymore. EVER. I hate it. I could go through this much easily if we didn't have any tests.. Um. Okay that's idiotic. But i swear.. If we just had some smaller tests once in a while, I'd probably get pretty good grades. But this method sucks. And I mean it.
//Leithinan

Pinch and a punch..

..first of the month!
I'm sitting here in front of my computer listening to Sonata Arctica's latest album, when I should be reading history.. That's... not good.
I feel really bad for many things right now.. ((But okay, I have some good "news", too..))
I really feel like I was mean to one of my friends today... I didn't mean to, it was just as a joke, but when one of my other friends said i should stop I really felt bad.. I should have apologized. Argh, I'm stupid. Now when I think of it I should be much nicer to everyone. I take them for granted, and that's idiotic. I don't know whether they will get tired of me. Or leave.

The good news are... I got 3/3 points in an history essay we wrote ages ago! :) I thought I might get 2 or less in it, but it went that well!

The Truth is Out There - Sonata Arctica

//Leithinan