To hell with this world

NO, do not read this!
Why are you then still reading?
Förlåt, jag drar det här på svenska. Sluta läsa.

Tydligen har jag ingen som förstår mig helt, eller ens lite. Min familj tycker helt klart att jag är en idiot för att jag har en tävling om allting. Är det så svårt att acceptera att jag är sån? Jag kan inte göra nåt åt det. Världen formar mig, precis som vatten och vind formar berg. Vad kan jag göra? Jag kan inte ändra mig på två sekunder. Inte på några dagar eller till och med veckor. Tyck då att jag är en idiot för den jag är.. Men kom inte och påstå nåt annat då. Men förstår verkligen ingen att jag inte alltid vill vara sämst på allt? Inte ens inom min familj är jag bäst på nåt. JAG VET JAG VET. Det är ingen tävling, man ska inte mäta sig med äldre, eller med någon alls, bara med sig själv blablabla. Jag vet inte varför jag tycker såhär, men jag tycker nu bara det. Tycker verkligen INGEN att det är jobbigt att vara sämst på allting man gör, fast man gör sitt bästa. Förstår ni inte?
Nej. Ingen förstår. Pappa försökte. Han blev arg och störd på mig. Förstår inte en av personerna som har varit med mig i hela mitt liv förstår ingen annan. Varför?
Temple of the evil, temple of the weak, no one knows how bad she feels.
No, I'm not a stranger among the people in here, yet I have never felt so alone.
Never opened myself this way.
Don't try to understand, since you clearly hate me.

Förlåt om jag har sårat nån, men ni skulle inte läsa det här.

//Leithinan

This week

This week's program look like this:
today: Dance
tomorrow: Psychology-questioning.
friday: To HÖSTDAGARNA in Tampere, Finland!!! <3 It's a christian meeting with people from all over the Swedishspeaking part of Finland. You might think this sounds boring, but it really isn't! Everyone's really nice and has a wonderful time there. And this year I'm going to a metal-workshop, which, I'm sure, is going to be really a lot of fun! Hopefully.. I always ruin something in the end.

//Leithinan

Rain

I stood about an hour and a half in the rain. I didn't want to go to my soccertraining, and I didn't want to go in, I was angry at my dad.
You think I'm weird or an idiot because I did this, too bad, 'cause I am. I don't know why I did it, why I didn't just go in or somewhere else. I just didn't.
I asked and answered a lot of questions while standing there, and understood a whole lot of things. I'm sorry, I won't share anything. But I can say that I sung about 6 songs while standing there. Just because I wanted time to move faster. And I got something.. I understood.

"A five year old, winterheart."

//Leithinan

Cat :3 and more singing!!

Now when Anette had a cat-thing going on, I just have to talk about them, too :3
Anyway.. uh.
Yeah, I'd REAAAALLY like a cat.. they're really cute and playful and aw :)
But my dad is allergic to all sorts of fur, so farewell cute kittehs :< I always say I'm going to buy one when I move away from home, but I don't know whether I'll have too little time to take care of it and so on, so forth.. And I don't know if Aleksi wants one :<
Murh. It'll end worse than I thought... >.< The cat-thing I mean :o

BUT! Today I had (again) singing lesson, and it went AWESOME! :D She actually said I sang Sleeping Sun "Wow!!"-ly :D But I just did it once, then I lost it again :( But she said once I've found it once it'll be easier to find it next time! :) So yay ^^ Next time I'll sing (if I find) A Thousand Miles by Vanessa Carlton. :) I know it's "pop", but at least this is one of the songs you can actually listen to! Seriously. And this one actually has drums and guitar and everything, thank God..
So let's see if I'll find the chords to that one..

//Leithinan

Trees are dropping their leaves.

You really notice how it's autumn now, the trees are all yellow (though some still red or orange) now. It's getting cold and everything.
Yesterday we had bandpractise, where we decided on a name and which song we should play, since we AGAIN changed it.. Oh well. It's better this way, I think.
Anyway, we decided to play The Kinslayer by Nightwish (okay, haha, I'm going to sing it O.o'). I really didn't have anything to say about it.. I Like Kinslayer, I mean it's not one of my favourite's, and I mightn't have chosen it, but otherwise, fine. I liked Unchain the Rain by Altaria, too, but it has a male leadsinger, so it probably wouldn't sound so good if I sung that.. *sigh*
But I'm going to look for the.. uh.. notes for it, and probably some others.
//Leithinan

Black Silk + Dance

I just saw the trailer, or something, for Black Silk, and WOW! They danced so wonderfully! It was so beautiful to watch! I wish I could dance like that! But I have, unfortunately, only danced four years, so I'm not quite there yet :P AND I've had the chance to dance to Nightwish' music! :D Dark Chest of Wonders spring 2008! Alongside with the "?"-dance :D Last year we danced (or actually this, but last spring, then) to Jenni Vartiainen and some Hip-Hop, I think we just called it "hoppi" :P
The year before that it was Tomb Raider-music ^^' And before that Jennifer Lopez' "Play". And this year it's "Krazy" by someone (I don't know :P) and "Maniac" by Michael Sembello from Flashdance!! :D
I know, these doesn't sound like so great when you just listen to them, but when Nikke (danceteacher, she's awesome! And crazy! :D) make a dance to them it's wonderful! You just float along with it, and start loving some of them (if you haven't already loved them :P)!

//Leithinan

Home

I'm home from Turku, and that seemed to have taken all my energy. I don't want to do anything, not even the things I LIKE to do.. It has probably something to do with that I woke up about 10 times during the night. Uh, wohoo!
I installed Paint Shop Pro on the Vista, and it seemed to work, so nice. yay.
I want to play TheSims2. :( But we haven't installed it since the Vista came back, and I don't know where my sister keeps the savingfiles we'll add after we install it.. Sadly enough all our "new" families died with the Vista. :<

//Leithinan